Reaching out with love

By Mary Alice Garrett

This story originally appeared December 1, 2005 in The News Journal of Wilmington, Delaware.

NEW CASTLE — lf you’re looking for a poster family to promote adoption, look no further than the Barrys of Coventry.

All six of the Barrys are comfortable with the word "adoption." The fact that theirs is "a family where the children don’t look like their parents" doesn’t faze them.

Barbara and Duane Barry were married for 10 years when they decided to adopt the first of their four daughters. For medical reasons, they were unable to have children of their own.

They decided to adopt internationally because, as Barbara Barry says, "the wait is shorter" than with domestic adoptions.

They made two trips to Medellin, Colombia, to adopt then-5-month-old Brittany, whose mother was an unmarried teenager The adoption was arranged through Seattle-based World Association of Children and Parents.

Several years later the Barrys made plans to adopt a second child privately. Because the birth mother tested positive for AIDS, they decided against adopting the newborn girl. Doctors told them that there was a 1-in-30 chance that the baby carried the virus.

Four years after getting Brittany they returned to Colombia to adopt another 5-month-old baby girl. Like Brittany, Cecelia was born to a teenaged mother.

"I knew in my heart God had another kid for us," said Barbara Barry. Three years later, the two girls asked their father for another child.

Jenna was 2 when the Barrys adopted her in Cambodia. They had requested a toddler, as they thought the chances that a toddler would be adopted were less than that of infants.

Jenna had been left at an orphanage, so there was no information about her birth parents.

"I flew to Cambodia by myself to get Jenna," said Duane Barry, a physical plant trades mechanic with DelDOT. He has a video of the trip he made with a group of adoptive families sponsored by World Child of Silver Spring, Md.

In six days, Jenna and Barry got acquainted while staying in a hotel waiting for the adoption to be finalized. Communication was difficult as Jenna understood only the Khmer language. Barry introduced his new daughter to scrambled eggs during that time. She has gone on to love French fries and has given up her largely rice diet.

Once home, "Jenna picked up English right away," recalled Duane Barry.

"So we get Jenna," said Barbara. "Then I got a craving for another one."

This time Duane Barry gave his wife a choice of a larger house or another child. Barbara Barry decided on a fourth child. That's when they made plans to adopt Faith, an 11-month-old Vietnamese girl.

The couple traveled to Vietnam twice before getting Faith and meeting her birth parents.

"It was very bittersweet," said Barbara Barry.

Faith had been the biological parents' fourth child, and the birth family couldn't afford to raise her. They were surviving on meager earnings from a rice paddy.

The Barry said they would have adopted a boy, but girls are their hearts' desire.

"I'm so used to girls," said Barbara. "I have two sisters."

Keeping heritage alive

Barbara Barry has helped to found a local adoption support group called International Link, which holds meetings and parties for adoptive families. They also belong to Adoptive Families Information Support.

"We want to keep the children's heritage alive," said Barbara. "I just think it's healthy for them."

Even Faith, now 4, can point to her birth country on an inflatable globe. Outgoing Jenna said no one at her school ever has asked if she was adopted, but she tells her classmates she was born in Cambodia.

Brittany is a ninth-grader at Delcastle Technical High School, where she’s on the field hockey and soccer teams. She plans a career in the medical field — either as nurse or dental technician.

Cecelia hopes to become a cheerleader at her school - Pleasantville Elementary. She’s undecided on a career.

Jenna, who watches medical shows on TV, wants to be a doctor. She’s on the honor role at Pleasantville Elementary "I want to be an angel," said Faith, who attends Heritage Preschool.

The Barrys said the girls get along well most of the time. "They have their moments, believe me," said Duane Barry. Jenna and Faith vie for their father’s attention, noted Barbara.

Happy to discuss adoption

At age 14, Duane Barry saw his parents murdered by the former husband of one of his sisters.

"You never forget that," he said. The killer is serving two life sentences at Graterford State Prison in Pennsylvania.

Duane and his three siblings were raised by his 18—year—old sister Charlene. Barry finished William Penn High School and joined the Marines before going to work for DelDOT. The Barrys now reside in the home formerly owned by Duane’s parents.

Barbara Barry a native of southwest Philadelphia, moved to Delaware in 1979 after being transferred by Acme Supermarkets. She now works for Acme part time.

Barbara and Duane Barry are so happy with their adopted daughters, they welcome the opportunity to discuss adoption with prospective adoptive parents.

"We will be happy to help them with the paperwork. There’s a lot of it," said Duane Barry.

"I think everything happens for a reason," said Barbara. "Adoption was the right way for us," she added.

"It was worth every bit to get these kids," said Duane. "I would to do this again, but the only way I'd do it is - if I hit the lottery."